It's Friday. Sex?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
