You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
