Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
