Buhtt sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
