I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
