just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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