all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
