At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
