Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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