Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
