all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
