She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
