I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize