It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How external is "for external use only"?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
