I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
