I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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