is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
