I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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