anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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