Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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