you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
