ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
