youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
