the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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