another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize