I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
