im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
