Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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