Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
