Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think your dad took our porno
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
