my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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