Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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