Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
