11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
