He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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