i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
