maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
