Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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