My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
