you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
