You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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