What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize