I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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