I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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