the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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