since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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