I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
