Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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