I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
