I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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