I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
