Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
