You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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