North Korea, Best Korea!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize