hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
