He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
