this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
