I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
All I want is dick and wine.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
