in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
