i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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