just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize