Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
