Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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