the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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