I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
