it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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