This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
