There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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