she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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