My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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