Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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