Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize