in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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