I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
