smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
