bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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