I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
