My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I need water and some morals
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
