we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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