yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
