Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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