You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
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I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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