pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
